Imijasis

There is a medical condition where an actor arrives on set long before the shoot begins that day, and as a result is killed by the crew- It’s called “early on set die of beatings”

I sometimes find myself so distracted that distraction becomes a stuttering loop of interrupting thoughts. This can manifest itself in the continuous clicking, switching of open windows on my computer screen in a nonsensical pattern as each struggles for my attention, to pull me away from homework. It can be a continuous, repeated single minute over the course of hours wherein the only clear thought I have is ‘wait, what was I doing?’ only to slip back into the muddled blur of confusion for another 40 to 50 seconds, whereupon I come right back to ‘wait, what was I doing?’. 

I can do nothing for hours and panic the entire time that I’ve been wasting all this time. Occasionally, I find myself on tumblr, meaninglessly hashing out, in the least emotional way possible, what exactly I’m going through. What was I doing? Homework. What am I doing now? Getting back to it again, for the 500th time in the last two hours.

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One nice thing about the internet is when I think I’ve come up with some
new concept
that was only possible due to my incredible creative
uniqueness-

and to
justify
my  feelings of 

pioneering
wittiness
I check the internet for anything resembling what I just thought of-

and I find out that there are at least 52 other people in the English-speaking, internet-posting demographic who had the exact same
“brilliant” thought-

I don’t feel so alone in my tower of comic genius.

For my birthday, my wife and her mother have removed all the children from our house. I also got an amazing keyboard, keyboard stand, and an awesome mountain bike. I’m struggling with the idea that I might trade all my other gifts for another day without children.

Fall Creek Tree

Fall Creek with Tree Skin by Daniel Hulter

Hot Ass

I went to the beach today,

And saw that it was

covered

with hot pieces of ass,

It was as if

there had been an ass explosion;

and the pieces of ass were everywhere

and still hot,

I saw a huge piece of ass that stood out

and pointed, saying

“check out that that huge piece of ass”, I said

and went to touch it

“don’t touch it”, he said

“it’s still hot”

and it was,

that hot piece of ass, so huge, but too hot to touch,

and bloody.

Sharing

I’m proving I have very, sophisticated taste,
Except when intentionally, ironically I
Do silly, carefree, common class things, sharing post haste
with my friendish acquaintances on the wall that’s sliding by.